I have added a new article to my website soberthinking.com. I wanted to share with people how I have handled my sobriety while stuck at home during Lockdown.
My article is full of top tips on how to do things differently because taking some time out to access how I might do things differently actually adds supports to my sober toolbox.
Check it out HERE
I have also set up an Instagram Account. Not sure what I’m doing with this to be honest. I’m not exactly a social media guru haha but you can check me out at @sober_thinking
One thing I know I need to work on is giving myself permission to do less or even nothing.
Yesterday, I was busy doing a few jobs around the house and home schooling the children. Oh, and I went for a jog. By 4.30pm I didn’t fancy doing anything else but it also felt wrong to just chill out and do nothing.
I think this stems back to when I used to drink and the kids were little and more demanding. I would always make sure the jobs were done and the kids were settled before I would relax with a drink. I did this for 2 reasons.
- Justification. Making sure all the jobs were done first justified checking out with a bottle or two of wine.
- Guilt. After my first few glasses of wine I knew I’d be no good for anything else. So attending to everyone else’s needs before I settled into my drinking, made me feel less guilty.
Even though I happily don’t drink anymore, I still retain the mindset that everyone else’s needs must be catered for, before my own. I cannot truly relax because I am constantly on standby. I spend a lot of time in limbo because I wont start a project or even a t.v. series in case someone needs me.
What is so silly about this, is that no one needs me as much as I think they do. My kids aren’t babies anymore. It is also self perpetuating. The more I do for other people, the more people expect of me.
I am learning that I don’t need to justify chilling out. I don’t need to worry about or even control what everyone else is doing before I can relax. If I want to watch that trashy Netflix series then I can at anytime of the day. I give myself permission to relax, guilt free.
So, for anyone out there who, like me, always waits for the perfect time to relax. Stop. Now. Self care should not be the thing which comes after everything else. It should not be the last thing on your ‘to do’ list. I give you permission to relax now. I give you permission to do less. x
Check out my website soberthinking.com for more posts and articles.
The BBC News headline last week made me smile.
‘Nolo beer’ sales rocket thanks to young teetotallers.
The report explains that sales of no or low alcohol beer are up 30% since 2016, as 18-24 year olds increasingly shun alcohol.
I gave up alcohol in April 2016 and back then, there was very little low or non alcohol drinks out there. It is amazing that in the past 4 years, this industry has recognised that there is a growing demand for low or no alcohol.
I think this is because people are more conscious of their physical and mental health. I hope that this change in attitude will create less of a stigma for people who don’t drink.
I know not everyone agrees with drinking 0.00% beers or wines in their sobriety and that is fine. I just love to hear reports like this:-
“growing health consciousness has prompted almost one in four young people to become teetotal.”
“The number of 18-24 year olds who say they don’t drink has increased by 6% in the past 12 months”
It makes me smile, to think the younger generation seem to have their head screwed on when it comes to alcohol. Certainly way more than I did at that age. It gives me hope that my children may not experience the same pressure I felt to drink alcohol from their peers or society as a whole.
I can only hope that as the young people across Britain grow up, the general culture around alcohol will change for the better too.
Well, I’m a newbie to this blogging world but after weeks of reading other people’s blogs and their journeys getting sober and more importantly staying sober, I think this could be what I need to do. 5 months ago I gave up alcohol, unfortunately it only lasted 7 weeks. I stupidly thought I was cured, I’ll just be a social drinker now. How wrong I was… you see, when I drink i cannot stop. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wake up needing a drink in the morning, quite the opposite, I wake up every morning thinking “no, that’s it, i’m definitely not drinking tonight… get a grip” then flash forward to between 3pm and 6pm that same day (depending on the hangover) and I start to convince myself it’s fine. “everyone enjoys a drink” I say. “gosh it was only a bottle of wine…. and maybe a beer or 2 – that’s okay, right?” But it’s just a Wednesday and no special occasion and oh I’m by myself in the house.
I was wrong to think I could be a social drinker. I thought after a period of abstaining it would be like a reset button. But no, the more I introduced alcohol back into my life the more I wanted it ( haha that’s why they call it addictive). Over several weeks, 5 dry days a week, turned into 3 dry days a week, which turned into 1 dry day a week, then back to drinking every day. Oh and back was the misery and guilt. Hiding the wine bottles and sneaking drinks so people didn’t know how much I had had. Definitely not cured ha. Well, after reading several books. Allen Carrs – ‘The easy way to control alcohol’ and ‘Mrs D goes without’. Plus, finding the sobriety world on-line I’m feeling ready to give it up for good! This time I will have my blog to serve as a reminder for when I will ultimately crave alcohol and convince myself its okay to drink again. I’m at the end of day 4 and while it hasn’t been too difficult so far (no major cravings, just feeling a bit down) I know all too well whats just around the corner. Wish me luck x
Check out my website soberthinking.com for more posts and articles