Feeling Meh today and have been for the past several weeks. My usual tools of having an early night or going out for a walk just aren’t helping. I think it is because we are in yet another national lockdown and we cannot visit anyone or go anywhere. The kids are at home doing their best with online school work but to be honest they are a nice distraction to the endless boredom.
Mr Mac is spending his time between working from home and trying to get our new house renovated. I spend my time between working from home, organising the house and helping the kids with their school work. It’s just all a bit…meh.
The biggest problem is I am super irritable with Mr Mac. Though I have no idea why. He’s not done anything wrong or different than normal. I’m not irritable with anyone else, just him.
When he talks about the renovation I couldn’t give a monkeys. He’s looking for a ‘well done’ and someone to talk to but it takes a huge effort for me to sound positive for him.
I’m bored of what he wants to watch on telly and I have no interest in a ‘cuddle.’ I really just want to be left alone – all the time.
I huff and roll my eyes at his little habits which usually don’t bother me and some days I just want to crawl out my own skin.
I cannot talk to him about it as everything I’m feeling is so nasty and hurtful and unwarranted. How can I say to someone I love that they are irritating the shit out of me but through no fault of their own?
We all have crap days when our spouse is irritating us but this has gone on ages.
I’m hoping by writing all this down it will make me feel better and at peace. Maybe when Lockdown ends and we can go somewhere or meet up with friends it will get easier.
Mrs Mac
Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash
New Beginnings 
Hug
I hope writing it down helped.
I love my kids, but this last year has been a lot of togetherness.some days, after working from home and chauffeuring to school, I just want to sit alone one the couch.
It seems these are the nights my 17 year old will ask me to make him toast…like, really? Bread, toaster, jam?
Anyway. Too much together is hard for us all.
I’m going to try some set yoga time in the evening. I used to go out, but our studio had been closed since November and will be for a while. Perhaps a closed door and an hour alone will help!
You are not alone in these feelings of discontent!
Annw
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Anne. I do feel better for writing it down. Less irritated for now. I’m not walking outside as much with the weather being so rubbish here. (bad excuse I know)
I agree a closed door and an hour alone will help. I took my book and hid in the bedroom for an hour tonight. It was bliss x
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s tough, I feel like this a lot too. Hubby and I have been WFH since March and some days I want to throttle him.
I make sure I have some me time every night whether reading or watching something.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I believe sharing how I feel here, getting it out my head, has helped a little. I forget to talk to people at the best of times.
LikeLike