Feeling Meh today and have been for the past several weeks. My usual tools of having an early night or going out for a walk just aren’t helping. I think it is because we are in yet another national lockdown and we cannot visit anyone or go anywhere. The kids are at home doing their best with online school work but to be honest they are a nice distraction to the endless boredom.
Mr Mac is spending his time between working from home and trying to get our new house renovated. I spend my time between working from home, organising the house and helping the kids with their school work. It’s just all a bit…meh.
The biggest problem is I am super irritable with Mr Mac. Though I have no idea why. He’s not done anything wrong or different than normal. I’m not irritable with anyone else, just him.
When he talks about the renovation I couldn’t give a monkeys. He’s looking for a ‘well done’ and someone to talk to but it takes a huge effort for me to sound positive for him.
I’m bored of what he wants to watch on telly and I have no interest in a ‘cuddle.’ I really just want to be left alone – all the time.
I huff and roll my eyes at his little habits which usually don’t bother me and some days I just want to crawl out my own skin.
I cannot talk to him about it as everything I’m feeling is so nasty and hurtful and unwarranted. How can I say to someone I love that they are irritating the shit out of me but through no fault of their own?
We all have crap days when our spouse is irritating us but this has gone on ages.
I’m hoping by writing all this down it will make me feel better and at peace. Maybe when Lockdown ends and we can go somewhere or meet up with friends it will get easier.
Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash