New Beginnings – Day 1428

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Photo by Alfred Schrock on Unsplash

As you know, last February 2019 I left my Government office job to work in a smaller school office, with less responsibility.

I had been unhappy in my job for a while. Even after getting sober, the job did not improve. Though I will admit, it was more manageable being sober

It was a huge decision to leave my job and career as a Civil Servant. I had been there for over 20 years. It was a scary decision, which I had put off for more years than I should have. This was mainly due to the fear of the unknown. Many people feel trapped because they are fearful of change and I was one of them. I still am, to a degree.

Once I started on my journey to find another job, I actually gained in confidence. I did have to take things slowly so I would not get overwhelmed and I had to remember to use my sober toolbox to keep my anxiety at bay.

The things in my sober toolbox are not exclusively to help with being sober. The things in my sober toolbox are to help with everyday struggles. They help when I get overwhelmed and they reduce my anxiety.  They are about self care and looking after my physical well being and mental heath.

Getting sober and staying sober created the foundation which my toolbox is built on but I have filled it with all the things I need to navigate my way through life. Part of getting sober is to build up a handy collection of tools you can use when you are struggling.

Once I started my new job I had to remember to keep using my tools. It was a bumpy ride at first but I have come to love my new job and the people who work there. I have enjoyed a wonderful year in my new work environment and made some great friends.

Because of the journey I have been on over the past few years, I am less fearful of the unknown. I have therefore made the decision to leave this job also. I do not feel like I need to leave this job because I am unhappy or because I am finding it difficult. But rather, I want to leave this job because I know myself better and what I want out of life.

For a long time I have struggled to understand what I wanted. My blog often comes back to the same question of, who am I as a person? and what do I want to do in life? There was always a feeling of wanting more.

I think what was holding me back was this feeling of being trapped because I was too fearful of the unknown. I was too afraid to try in case it didn’t work out. Well this fear has not gone but it is more manageable.

I am more confident to try new things. We don’t always have to have it all worked out in advance. I am happier now to give things a go and see if they work because I rather try and fail than not try at all, right?

I am continuing to work on my sober website. It is going well and I’m learning so much. My short term goal is to transfer my blog over to there.

I will continue to pursue what motivates me and what makes me happy. x

Mrs Mac

The Goal is to Feel Good! – Day 1417

This morning I took a walk with my husband. Not a very exciting walk. We dropped the car off at the local garage and walked back home. However, we did go via Costa for a coffee which was good!

I enjoy walking and getting outside in the fresh air. It makes me feel good physically and mentally. I realise that it doesn’t even matter where I walk. What matters is just moving my body and being out doors.

I have been walking more lately, mainly because I haven’t been out jogging. It’s always the same when the weather is cold and windy. I’m much more movitated to go out jogging when the weather is milder.

In the past I would beat myself up if I didn’t go out jogging. The negative voice in my head would say, I was useless, that I cannot stick to things, that I was fat and unhealthy and that I should go for a run.

Nowadays, I still hear the voice in my head but I don’t listen to it. I accept that I don’t much like running in the cold. Instead, I go out for a walk or hop on my crosstrainer for a short while.

I have learned that if I do just 15/20 minutes, I feel physically and mentally better. And that’s the goal right! to feel better? It’s not about how many miles I run or don’t run. It’s about what I can do to feel physically and mentally better. For me, that can be as little as 15 minutes of walking.

Mrs Mac

Small Brave Steps – Day 1403

mental health week 2020

 

This week is Children’s Mental Health Week  03 – 09 February 2020. This year’s theme in the UK is ‘Find your Brave’. Life is all about taking small brave steps every day. Bravery could be about sharing worries and asking for help when you need it, trying something new or making the right choices.

I think it is wonderful that our children are being taught about this in school. I think we can all identify with the theme ‘Finding your Brave’  I certainly know that I need to work on sharing worries and asking for help when I need it.

Any reminder about being brave, what ever that means to you, is a positive thing.

I’m going to take a small brave step and tell you all that I’m setting up my own Sober Website soon. Watch this space.

Mrs Mac