My Christmas Lull and Pressures of New Year’s Eve – Day 1367

Christmas. I love the idea of Christmas. Heart-warming movies; picking out our tree; meeting up with friends and family to exchange gifts; big turkey dinner on Christmas day, snuggles on the sofa on a cold winter’s night. I could go on. However, by half way through the holidays I always feel low. I call it the Christmas Lull

It’s not that I don’t like all the things I’ve listed, I do. I just always get bored and scratchy around this time during the holidays. I always feel like I need to be ‘doing’ something. This is probably due to the sheer amount of lazing around I have done since Christmas day; the fact I cannot take the decorations down yet and I’m getting increasingly worried about the amount of Christmas chocolate my children are eating.

While I lay in bed last night, I started hatching plans in my head to paint our hallway before New Year. I quickly realised, all that work and mess would make everyone else miserable, so I gave up on the idea. Instead, I dragged everyone on a big walk to blow away some cobwebs and excess Christmas calories. This helped and I definitely recommend just getting out the house anytime you feel low or antsy.

Does anyone else get that post-Christmas lull?  It cannot just be me. I’m not a Scrooge or Bah Humbug type of person. I do genuinely love Christmas time but I feel like I’m milling about, just wasting time to get to New Year’s Eve. Which, If I am being honest, I don’t like.

I don’t like the expectation that you should do something for New Year’s Eve! We should go to a party; we must stay up to midnight! We will enjoy ourselves!!! It’s pressure we put on ourselves, to either please others or show others we are not boring old Fartbag’s. Which, by the way, no one thinks this of us and no one cares, because they are too worried about what they are doing! So why do I still agonise over what to do on New Year’s Eve?

Maybe I will paint my entire hallway and finish it on the stroke of Midnight haha.

I think my answer is simple actually. I need to re-frame my mood to see this lull as an opportunity to do something for me. Which isn’t just eat cheese. Maybe this is my opportunity to do more walking, writing or organise a cupboard or two. I also need to come up with a plan for New Year’s Eve that suits my family and not other people.

Sometimes, its difficult for me to re-frame my thinking. It’s hard to motivate myself to do things I know will help my mood. Writing and getting outside in the fresh air always makes me feel better.

Talking Helps – Day 1339

BolamLake30.11.19sunset

1st December 2019 and thus starts the Christmas countdown.

I’m happy and not worrying too much about the Christmas festivities. In all honesty I haven’t got a lot planned so far. The youngest is excited to have her advent calendar up and I’ve allowed her to start decorating her bedroom with old tinsel and a small tree. Our main Christmas decorations will wait until next weekend, I think. I like to spread this out and enjoy the run up to Christmas, not be overburdened.

I’m feeling happy this weekend because I’ve managed to do 2 things:

1. I had a good whinge to Mr Mac about not enjoying my work. I totally off loaded to him. This is something I struggle with because I can feel like a burden and a failure when I open up and tell people I’m not happy. I know other people don’t think this about me but it is how my brain works. I am learning. I am slowly getting better at telling people how I feel and not just putting on a brave face.

2. I went on a walk with my family. It was a beautiful, dry, sunny, winters day yesterday. We wrapped up warm and walked around the lake. I really enjoyed our family time, walking, chatting and taking photos. It’s been a while since we’ve done this, so even the kids didn’t complain.

My brain tried to over analyse my conversation with Mr Mac, telling me, ‘other people would be happy with your job.’ and ‘Just get on with it, like everyone else does’.  Despite all that negativity in my brain, I felt calmer. Talking to Mr Mac had helped. Plus, I was enjoying my family walk and getting some fresh air. I felt happy.

Still learning that talking helps. Day 1339