A Whole Year Tomorrow – Day 364

I’m on the eve of my SoberAnniversary.

How do I feel about this? My honest reply would be proud and grateful. I feel really proud of myself that I have stayed sober for 364 days and counting.

I am proud that I have conquered all my sober firsts; parties, holidays, birthdays, christmas and arguments.

I am proud I was brave and went to AA, even if I do not attend regularly.

I am proud that I overcame my anxiety and went back to work because so far, it’s working out.

I am proud that I have been motivated to start exercising again, even if some days I don’t feel like it.

I am also grateful for being sober, I am grateful for the new way of living my life even if it is hard some times, it will never be as hard as when I was drinking.

I am grateful that sobriety has helped me be more present for my children as they grow up into young adults

I am grateful that sobriety has given me a deeper connection with my husband.

I am grateful that being sober has helped my anxiety and depression.

I am grateful that not drinking has given me more time. Time to explore new ways of dealing with a spectrum of emotions I previously drank over.

I am grateful for you guys and the soberverse, blogs, podcasts, books, websites and AA which together have educated me on how to live my life and be the best me.  

I am so grateful and proud that I am sober so I could have all this. I am proud of what I have achieved this year and grateful for all the help and support I have found along the way. I hope to keep learning and keep blogging.

There are many things I’d still like to conquer and to learn more of. More work needs to be done on my anxiety. Mainly on feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I have also found that I can get extremely frustrated and angry sometimes. Its does pass and quickly at that. However, in the moment i need to remember that it does pass quickly haha.

I want to focus more on mindfulness and positivity as this makes me feel happy and content.

I would like to make new ‘real’ friends and continue to nurture the ones I still have left.  I want to ‘do’ more this year. Last year I kept things very simple. My priority was looking after me and my sobriety. I only added things into my life when I was ready and that worked amazing for me. I want to continue adding more fun things this year, like…… more nights out, holidays, sky diving, Disneyland!!!!!  ‘cos i know doing it sober rocks!

If anyone is thinking about giving up the booze, I don’t have a miracle cure or earth shattering advise but if you manage it, it’s the best thing you could ever do for yourself.

11 Months today!!

Just checking in really. Still sober and cannot believe it is 11 months today. My year is so close. Like a lot of you, I feel like I want to do something or treat myself to something. I think I need to give this some serious thought over the next 4 weeks. I have had a few moments of “is this forever????” I think this is because my year is so close, not because I actually want a drink. I think it is the wine witch giving it one last push to trick me into having a drink. Achieving a year of sobriety is not a reason to pick up the drink again. I’m not ‘cured’ I’ve been down that path before and I’m not going there again. 

It’s okay to have these fleeting thoughts. It’s not a craving. I’m so passed actually wanting a drink. I cannot help what pops into my brain sometimes. I just need to see it for what it is. My kids would call it a “brain fart”😂😂😂

I read a lovely post by hurrahforcoffee the other day, I’m sure you all have too. She was so positive in her reasons for not drinking.  Living life in technicolor! Not numbing out! Being conscious for this one precious life we have. It was amazing to read and really captured (for me) all the good reasons for not picking up that first drink.

Here is the link. If it works I’ll be amazed as I’m doing this all on my phone whilst trying to put my kids to bed and cook dinner for MrMac lol