Lost – Day 11

The holidays are over and its back to the usual routine. This has made my Day 11 rather difficult. While I have enjoyed being kept busy with work, I now find myself in that lull. Somewhere between 4.30pm and the kids bed times. In this time I do homework with the kids, cook their dinner and generally just be around for them. The kids seem to demand just enough of my attention that I cannot really do anything without being interrupted but they don’t  constantly need my attention, so I find myself aimlessly wandering around the house, doing dishes and checking the dinner. Some people might think this is lovely but i find it boring. I love my kids dearly but night after night of the same routine is a bit tedious. I actually clock watch and will the time to go faster.  This is also when I used to start my evening drinking. I feel a bit lost at the moment. Bored. Sad. Wine used to make it better, time went faster, I enjoyed myself more somehow. Oh,  I know wine just made everything fuzzy round the edges, then I’d quietly get drunk once the kids were in bed, then I’d wake up with guilt for drinking and a hangover to boot. I just need to get over this hump, and I’ll be okay. I’m worried that if I cannot tweak my evening routine I will forever have cravings at this time of day and that’s not a nice thought. I’m hoping writing this blog will help wile away some of my time a bit more productively. The kids have only interrupted me 3 times and the oven timer has beeped once but I’m getting there. I think i may be writing more blogs at this time of day for a while.

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