I’ve been trying to be more aware of when I should pause and listen or pause and wait for the right time to speak. I often rush or try to juggle too many things at once. Like cooking tea while answering friends messages and helping the kids with homework. I think I am being efficient but I usually come off looking harassed; getting a bit stressed and definitely not giving people the attention they deserve.
I don’t always wait for the right time to speak whats on my mind. There are many instances in our house where we have conversations by shouting up the stairs to one another, instead of waiting until we are in the same room. The other day I was actually sitting on the toilet and started asking my youngest if she had handed in her English homework, ‘cos it popped into my head! At that moment I had to have a word with myself about patience.
So far this week, I have paused at work to listen to a colleague talk about their mother who was in hospital. It made me feel more present and I imagine she felt heard. My work still got done.
I have consciously made the decision to walk up the stairs to talk to my husband or children instead of shouting up. This has made the house seem calmer or at least I feel calmer.
I have also paused while writing this to listen to my kids fun fighting in the next room. Instead of getting annoyed with them for breaking my concentration, I paused and listened to them with a big smile on my face.
I am far from perfect and I still instantly pull my phone out my pocket when I hear it beep, even when I’m mid conversation with someone. However, being aware of it is half the battle, isn’t it. I will continue to practise patience and I will try to pause when things feel hectic.
I don’t want to be the multi-tasking crazy woman who gets everything done. I’m learning to do less, so I can be more present and more calm. Starting with no shouting while on the toilet.